Part 2

Writing Strategies
1. The details that worked best for me was when she descried her system for judging the contestants in the pageant. She then used her system to judge the other contestants, and at the end she judged herself.
2. This essay relates to people because it involves a mother that pushed her daughter to fulfill her childhood dreams. It might relate to someone who doesn’t care about pageants because it is about the importance of family, the pressures of being a young adult, and the idea of parental pressures can involve any activity including sports or hobbies.
3. What I like most about your essay is how it can be easily related to anyone’s hobbies. The main suggestion I have about your essay is to tell more about the pageant. What happened to you, and what happened to your friends in the pageant?
4. She does deliver the reason why she lost the pageant, but she doesn’t make it the main point of her essay. The point of her essay is the dream her mother tried to make her fulfill. She lost the pageant because she said she would fix her mothers loneliness instead of talking about world hunger or world peace. Also because the judges prejudged her.
Exploring Ideas
2. Beauty pageants speak to larger issues like competition, class, tradition, and media because sometimes they aren’t fair. They are things you can’t control you can’t decide who’s going to win a competition, you can’t decide what class you’ll be born into or the traditions your parents will show you.
3. In school you are pressured by our parents, and the faculty to do your best and behave properly.

Ideas for Writing
1. An event in my life that had a disappointing result was when I took physics senior year of high school. The first term I received a D. I know I had to step up for the next three terms and on the final. I ended up with a C as a final grade.
2. An event that exceeded my expectations is at the awards assembly in junior and senior year. Junior year I was presented an award for shop and latin. Senior year I was awarded for shop and Social Studies.