Part Two (Joe Ballinger)

Writing Strategies
1. The details that I liked best were the reasons Bosley gave on why she didn't win the beauty pageant. Now when I say this, I don't mean just the immediate reasons she first gave (tripped during her walk, talking about her mom instead of world peace and all that jazz). Later on in the essay she starts to talk about how she'd lost the pageant because she didn't have nice things, because of the financial situation she was born into, and because her parents were the people that they were. Most people just like how Bosley explained everyone thoroughly, but I prefer details that are somewhat more meaningful when it comes to essays like this.
2. This essay matters to everyone because she isn't just talking about beauty pageants. One could say that she's talking about how people accept others a lot more for their looks and money than other distinguishing characteristics.
3. What I like most about your essay is how you relate it to everyone by talking about how you lost the pageant being born into the situation you were born into. The main suggestion I have for this essay is that Bosley shouldn't go off on a tandem on gettin married and moving to California. I think the essay could've been better if she'd not put that in, because it seems sort of random to be put in there.
4. Bosley answers quite well how she lost the beauty pageant. The point of her essay is that the beauty pageant can be incredibly nit-picky and, at times, heartless. Another point she could be trying to make could encompass more than just the judges. She could also be trying to get across the fact that many people accept others with certain physical and financial features a lot better than those with different features or those without them. She'd lost the pageant literally because she'd only talked about her mother, but in a more metaphorical sense she'd lost because she was who she was.
Exploring Ideas
2. Bosley talks more about how people are accepted in today's society. I believe one point she was trying to make was that how people are accepted better for having certain things in their lives, whether in the physical or financial sense (and somewhat in the mental sense but not as much). This ties in with how the media portrays people, how they're usually physically almost "perfect" and usually filthy rich. This also ties in with the media's version of perfect, this being those things that Bosley was checking off on her beauty pageant list.
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